BARNEY IS DRIVING ME PSYCHO! LET’S GET A GUN AND S
by ShortHun
Summary: This has been changed to R for Barney's obsessive bad word use...tsk tsk Barney!
1. Default Chapter

Authored by ShadowsofHell and ShortHun (just published by ShortHun)

Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and Gandalf sat outside. The scene was absolutely beautiful! The hills were in the distance and the sun was just setting over those hills.

When all the sudden…Something fell from the sky.

BARNEY!

Barney the purple retarded dinosaur that can never shut up. He looked up at the four unusual characters. The four looked at him, and pulled out their weapons.

"Why hello there!" Barney said, "I Love you! YOU LOVE ME! We're a happy fammmaaallleeee! With a GREAT big hug and a kiss from me to u! WONT U SAY I LOOOOVVVEEEE YOOOOOUUUU TOOOOOOO!"

Legolas looked at Barney with a huge bit of confusion.

"What the fuck?" Aragorn said lowering his sword, he then looked at Gandalf who was reacting the same way.

Gimli just kind of backed away. Slowly…

Barney laughed his lil stupid laugh. "AHEHEHEHE! Well then, where have I gone? This isn't where my friends are!"

"And who exactly are your friends?" Gandalf asked keeping his staff up. "Well the kids of course!" Barney replied, "We have lots of fun."

"What kind of fun?…" Aragorn asked his eyes widening.

"Why we play lots of fun games and sometimes we have sleepovers!" Barney said with a stupid laugh.

They backed away from the idiotic dinosaur.

"…Sleepovers?" Gimli repeated Barney's answer. "As in sleeping in the same place?"

"Of course, but sometimes we have to share a sleeping bag!" He replied with his stupid pearly white teeth showing that are fake as heck!

Legolas drawled his bow and arrow. "You sick-" He started but Gimli cut him off. "THING!" Gimli finished.

Aragorn took up his sword again.

"No don't have a bee in your bonnet…Let's all be FRIENDS! And SING!" Barney then started dancing around.

"AHH! RUN AWAY AND HIDE!" Legolas says taking off running. "LEGOLAS! IM WITH YOU!" Gimli runs also.

"Now, let's all be friends…let's not run away! LETS BE FRIENDS FOREVER!" At this time Aragorn has now left Gandalf all alone. With this monster.

"YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!" Gandalf yelled, as he slammed his staff down to the ground. Just then a huge sink hole sucked up Barney, and Gandalf went to find the others.

About two hours later he found them hiding noticeably beside some bushes. Gandalf looked at them with a smile. "Don't worry now…It is gone." He said to them, and they all came out of their hiding spot.

They then took their place and sat down on a hill watching the rest of the sun set.

"I'm hungry" one of them said.

"Well then get something to eat, like elf bread." Gandalf replied to them.

"What's elf bread?" they asked.

Just then all the companions looked to their right, and there sat Barney looking at them.

"AHHHH!" They all screamed and jumped up. "Oh for god sakes!" Legolas shouted jumping up.

Barney continued sitting. "What is the matter?" Barney asked with his stupid self.

"RUN AWAY! RUN AWAYYY!" Aragorn yelled and took off again, the others followed.

They sat in a tree, which Barney wouldn't be able to climb cause he's a fat ass.

"Is he gone." Gimli asked.

"I think so."

"So, why are we hiding again?"

"Because, of that stupi-" Gimli turns around and falls out of the tree. "AHHH! RUNN!" Gimli disappears into the distance.

Barney sat right dead smack in the center of the tree with them.

Legolas poked barney in the eye, and jumped out of the tree.

"AHH ME EYE!" Barney said clutching his fat face.

Gandalf kicked Barney and ran, and Aragorn did too.

"OUCH! Love hurts…but for you guys…It's worth it." Barney called to them as they ran. Barney then jumped out practically fell out. He then followed them singing "I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! We'-" Just then, a loud THUMP was heard. And they all turned around.

Barney had ran into a tree branch, and he had fallen down making a loud THUMP.

They all approached the knocked out dinosaur. "He's so airheaded." Legolas said, "If he is knocked out by a small less than half a twig BRANCH!"

They all looked at each other wondering what to do with the body…

The only way to know is, tune in next week (not really next week just whenever Jen comes over again so we can right together.)

OF

BARNEY IS DRIVING ME PSYCHO! LET'S GET A GUN AND SHOOT HIM!


	2. The Meeting at Rivendell!

(Chap 2 written just by ShortHun)

Chapter Two of:

BARNEY IS DRIVING ME PSHYCO LETS GET A GUN AND SHOOT HIM!

The four companions looked at each other with curiosity.

What should they do? Where would they take the body?

They knew exactly where! After a long discussion of where to go, and what to do.

Legolas and Gimli had his feet while Gandalf and Aragorn had his arms.

"He's such a fat butt!" Legolas said, as they came across a bridge that was over water.

"Oh great! The bridge will break! He's too FAT!" Aragorn said, and they threw the body down.

"Well, maybe we can…dump him in the river!" Gimli suggested looking at the others.

"No, too risky" Gandalf said rubbing his beard.

"I say we put him in a well with no way up!" One said.

"Good thinking!" Gandalf said turning around. "I know just the place with a well!"

The companions immediately started dragging him again, and took a different route around the river. They finally came to a place! Of peace, and non-violence!

RIVENDELL!

Gandalf looked around, and gave signals for the 3 to drag Barney quickly behind a set of stairs. Gandalf then looked around some corners, and gave another signal.

They finally made it to Elrond's lil room thing. Elrond and Arwen stood there. "Gandalf what have you brought?" Elrond asked raising a brow.

"A big amount of trouble!" Gandalf replied, and they threw the fat butt dinosaur's body on the ground, which shook cause he weighed so much.

"Well let us, see what we can do!" Elrond said, "Let us make a council!"

So it is that the four companions went to a meeting council thing.

Legolas, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Gimli, Gandalf, Random elves, Random dwarves, and Elrond sat down with Barney's fat ass dead smack in the middle of their circle tied up.

"Now, we have another quest…for anyone who will take it! You see this large fatass in front of us…" Elrond began, "We need someone, somehow to destroy it!" Elrond then stood up walking around a little.

He then stopped looking at everyone. "But who?"

Whispers came about the circle.

"Now! We have four people who have witnessed this foul creatures actions!" He said. "Let us listen to their story!"

Gimli then stood up. "He…_plays_ with children! They have sleep overs, and he does bad things!" Gasps were heard all around.

Gandalf then took a stand with Aragorn and Legolas. "He has tried to touch me and my companions!" Gandalf said with rage!

The dwarves were still talking about what Gimli had said.

'He tried to hug us, with his love for children!" Legolas added.

The elves began to speak, and even Elrond seemed shocked!

When all the sudden…Barney woke up.

Barney laughed his stupid dinosaur laugh. "HAHahhehea! Why hi there!" His white fake teeth showed and everyone clinged to someone!

"IT IS SO HIDEOUS!" A dwarf shouted.

Elrond jumped back as Barney struggled to get free. "Who will take this foul creature! To the fires of Mordor?"

"Ahem"

Elrond turned. "This is a dinosaur, not the ring…why Mordor?" Pippin asked.

"Um, so he'll burn the fiery depths of hell forever!" He replied. "Right.." Pippin said.

"I will take it!" Frodo said standing. "I will take this creature to Mordor!"

The others seemed shocked. "But Frodo! You have…already taken the ring!" Aragorn said.

Frodo walked over to the tied up Barney.

"Then I shall join you! Through all the dangers you encounter!" Gandalf said standing behind him.

"You have my sword" Aragorn said joining.

"And you have my bow!" Legolas said also.

"and my AXE!" Gimli added.

Merry and Pippin looked at each other "We are coming too!" They took their spots and Sam ran up too.

Elrond rolled his eyes. "I guess the 8 old companions are at it again…. Let us see what you can do!"

"AHHH!" Frodo yelled and began kicking Barney.

The others just looked at Frodo like he had gone insane! But then they all joined in and began beating him with sticks and kicking him and slapping him.

To be continued.


	3. How Michael Jackson is the way he is Now

Authored by ShortHun and Shadowsof Hell)

Chapter Three

Of

BRANEY IS DRIVING ME PHSYCO LET'S GET A GUN AND SHOOT HIM!

Frodo began to sweat as kept kicking barney repeatedly. "YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" Yelled one of the companions.

"Frodo!" Yelled Sam. "WATCH OUT!"

Barney had broken free, and began hugging Frodo while singing.

"SALLY THE CAMEL HAS ONE HUMP...SALLY THE CAMEL HAS...TWO HUMPS...SALLY THE CAMEL HAS THREE HUMPS! SO RIDE SALLY RIDE SALLY RIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"OH MY GOD!" Legolas fall off the lil platform and goes unconcious.

The Elves and Dwarves scream with horror, and started clinging with each other and crying of fear.

"What is rideing SALLY!" Gimli screamed clinging to Aragorn.

"GANDALF! GANDALF HELP MEEEEEEEEEeeeee!" Frodo yelled, he was being more smothered as the moments passed.

"YOU FOU L BEAST!" Gandalf yelled starting to get his sword out.

"BEAST? WHY JUST CALL ME BARNEY!" Barney then did his stupid lil dinosaur laugh.

Frodo finally kicked him in the nutts. "YOU FAT ASS BASTARD, GANDALF!" Runs to Gandalf, and Barney sits there holding his gonads.

Legolas is still unconcious, when Barney jumps off platform and lands right on him.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Screams Legolas, and pulls an arrow from his back pouch thing, and stabs Barney in the butt. "OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yells Barney as he jumps up his feet not even touching the ground, and grabs his butt.

Legolas then got up, and took out his bow and arrow.

Barney whailed with pain. "MY BUTTOX! ITS ON FIRE AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Runs around in circles like a stupid bastard.

Sam looked around, and found rock and Merry, Pippin, him, and Frodo began throwing them at Barney

"GET HIM! They said and poked Barney in the eye with a stick.

"GOD DAMMIT!" Yelled Barney as he grabbed his eyeball...

EVERYONE GASPS AND FREEZES

"RUN AWAY!" Yells Aragorn and takes off, with Gandalf.

"RUN! RUN BARNEY SAID A NAUGHTY LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" Pippin yelled, running with Merry.

"MR FRODO! WATCH OUTTTTTTTTT" Sam grabs Frodo and runs off. Random Elves and Dwarves run off with Companions.

"FUCKING, SHIT MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKER! YOU STUPID FAT TWAT CUNT!" Barney was screaming, scaring the companions almost to have a heart attack! They run faster at the words running out of Barney's mouth.

THEN ALL THE SUDDEN A KID FROM THE SHOW LANDS ON BARNEY

"BARNEY!" It yells, and it's a little boy.

"OMG! MICHAEL JACKSON!" Barney hugs young Michael Jackson.

"BARNEY WHEN ARE WE GONNA PLAY AGAIN?"

"Real soon boy, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal soon" Barney then winks at Jackson.

Aragorn's eyes pop out (not literaly) from behind a bush watching this.

Legolas looked around. "You know something tells me when that kid grows up...he'll mess with kids the same way..."

Gandalf shook his head in shame. "Poor lil guy"

"Frodo, are yoou ookkkkayyy?" Pippin asked.

"I..." He began, "Have **NEVER**...Felt. So. **D-I-R-T-T-Y**. In. My. **WHOLE **L-I-F-E!" He finall spit out.

"Come on Jackson, let us go back and have a sleep over! With David Bowie...he'll be there tonight" Barney said and giggled his gay laugh, and winked at Michael who smiled. "I CANT WAIT! IM SO _THRILLED_!"(hint hint) and a little portal opened and Barney grabbed Michael in a DISGUSTING WAY, and went into it.

"I THINK IM GON-" Aragorn threw up.

"There there." Legolas said patting his shoulder.

"Let's go...home, and act like this never happened..." Gandalf said and got up. And Finally the Companions rested for the rest of their lives.

END

ShortHun's A/N: LMAO how stupid this is i have no idea...but it is funny! lmao i remember when i was little the Sally song so I had to do that! LMAOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo! We might do a sequal depends...(Shadows Idea of Sequal). I really enjoy trying to make people laugh, which i doubt i do a good job at for my sister who is four years older then me has the comedy part haha most anyway, and Shadows is a friend not sister lol. Well ttyl! Hope you liked it! If we do come out with Sequal might be called"BARNEY HAS BEEN SHOT! LETS GET A TORCH AND CELEBRATE" lmao so random. But we donno yet!

ShadowsofHell's A/N:I didn't really do much. It was mostly ShortHun who added the gravy with the mash potatos. LMAOOOOOOOOOooooooo!


End file.
